brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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