Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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