and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
