Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
