To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
