I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
