i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
