boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
