At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
