Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
