this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
