Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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