I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
