i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
