so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
