If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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