My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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