i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
