barbara walters just said penis...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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