I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
