So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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