Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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