I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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