I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
