My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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