we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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