drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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