Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
