His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
