Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
