I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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