i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
