Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
