I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
