I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
