I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There's even glitter on my cock...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
