Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
