I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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