So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
