did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
