member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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