Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
