Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
