Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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