Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
