last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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