I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
