I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
