I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
