i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
