I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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