You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
