so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
