you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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