I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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