y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
im calling her cock vulture from now on
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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