im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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